The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
***By the way I usually don’t use foul language on this site, but it is inevitable with this post. Consider yourself forewarned =) ***
No one cares about your life more than you. Still, there are definitely times where the worries of our world are more than slightly exaggerated.
Enter thinker, blogger, and profanity laden author extraordinaire, Mark Manson.
This bold orange book is going to catch your eye no matter what, but the title, is… compelling to say the least. There are a ton of great self help books out there on bringing more into your life with positivity and affirmations.
All fine, but let’s always look to be smarter and see all sides of the coin.
Wait, what do you mean not give a fuck? Am I not supposed to care at all? How is not giving a fuck going to help you when it comes to investing in real estate? Glad you asked.
Lesson 1: Choose wisely
First off, not giving a fuck isn’t about not caring (I know, a lot of negatives in that sentence). Instead, it is caring about the right things and only those few truly important things.
It is important to consciously choose what we want to pay attention to.
That list is personal to each of us, but essentially we are talking about two things:
- Close family and friends (relationships)
- What we use our strengths to accomplish (work).
Our time is limited. We walk along this path and have adventures on the journey but no one knows where, how, or when it will end. Keeping that is mind allows us to put things into perspective.
“The point it, most of us struggle throughout our lives by giving too many fucks in situations where fucks do not deserve to be given” – Mark Manson
Not giving a fuck is about focus and prioritization.
You and you alone are responsible for your business and your life. Take ownership and care only about being consistent with the process.
Not giving a fuck is also not caring what the naysayers think of you.
This is especially important when you are starting off as a real estate investor. If you haven’t yet test it out. Tell people you are a real estate investor and watch their reaction.
Most people will respond with some fascination because most people are polite. Some people will really admire you, especially if you already have properties in your portfolio or impressive returns on your flips.
Some people though…
- They have been burned by their own attempts with real estate investment and are bitter.
- They had a family member or friend that failed.
- They ripped off in a seminar scam.
- They saw a news story online and did no further research or testing but are convinced that the market is going to bubble and crash tomorrow.
- They are jealous you have the courage to try.
Listen to the criticisms, take what is useful, and brush off the baseless arguments that don’t serve you.
Pay no attention to statements that are made from emotion instead of grounded by facts. It is really easy to tear down an idea but real estate investing isn’t magic.
It can be done and has been done over and over by many people. If I can do it so can you.
Not giving a fuck is the mindset that nothing can touch you unless you choose to allow it.
Not giving a fuck is personal power.
Lesson 2: To achieve anything you must be willing to give up something
You might know what you want, but what are you willing to endure though to earn it?
Are you willing to risk sunburn as you lay out on the beach remotely checking in on your laptop while risking getting margarita mix in your keyboard? Maybe someday, but it is undeniable that you have to put in the work to allow real estate investing to work.
Everyone starts at a different place but you have to start somewhere. That can be long hours working a day job and taking your lunch break to call back prospects.
It can be long nights fighting anxiety wondering if your math was correct. Will it cash flow?
You’ll have to fall behind on Netflix. You’ll have to get up early and stay late. You’ll have to discipline yourself from browsing Facebook.
With limited time comes limited options.
These things get easier with experience but it’s not always easy. Of course you need to enjoy your life, but to achieve is to suffer, and that is a good thing.
Think of the gold medalists who achieve greatness at the highest stage of competition. They had to put in the work.
Think of your favorite athletes in any sport, they had to put in the work.
Think of your favorite writer or blogger (I volunteer). This is work for me. But I am willing to stay up late to edit this post for the nine(teenth) time because I choose to give a fuck about it and you my dear reader.
Bad things will happen, sometimes pretty often.
These events will vary by degree and severity, but expect them in life.
- A tenant will not pay the rent
- The unit will need repairs
- You’ll get sued
- You’ll need to call the insurance company
One or all of these things are possible, maybe even probable, so don’t be surprised if it were to happen.
You what is better than frustration? Contingency plans.
Before I bought my first rental I asked other investors what I needed to have in place. The number one answer… a playbook.
Problems and setbacks don’t hurt as much if you know ahead of time that they are possible.
Plan for what you can do before they happen then execute the plan once they happen.
Dealing with things in the moment is emotional and difficult. Seeing the problems ahead of time and nipping them in the bud or knowing that you have a plan in the event of an emergency gives peace of mind.
If and when you do fail use it as motivation to get back up dust yourself off and try again. Taking action and moving on is far superior to losing time wishing things were different.
Lesson 3: Do it for you
Do you know why you are investing in real estate in the first place?
- Is it because you enjoy introducing yourself to others as a real estate investor (I admit it… I do)?
- Is it because your parents did it?
- Is it because you want to be more like (insert celebrity real estate investor name here)?
These can all be fine bonuses but real estate is a difficult path. You have to do it for yourself first and foremost.
There are other ways to make money. Yes, real estate investing is one of the best ones! But, if you are doing it for someone or something else the hard times are that much harder.
Pick you battles wisely. Sometimes it is best to move on rather than fight for something that ultimately won’t be worth it.
- Don’t make deals that won’t work fit into your portfolio.
- Don’t try to outbid everyone at auction.
- Your real estate competitors could also be your partners on other deals.
- Don’t unnecessarily burn bridges. Alliances are stronger than fragments.
Take right action. It is tempting to day dream about the Lambo and the mansion but action is what separates the deal makers from the wantrepreneurs. Take time to plan but also take massive action.
“And in a strange way, this is liberating. We no longer need to give a fuck about everything. Life is just what it is” – Mark Manson
Stop caring what other people think.
They aren’t you and don’t know what is going on in your life. They don’t see the hours of study. They don’t see the courage it takes to cold call and face rejection. They aren’t the ones paying your marketing bills.
Truthfully, most people are wrapped up in their own lives and filled with their own sets of worries and problems to care what you are doing.
Treat other people well and do what you can.
Everything else… who gives a fuck?
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
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